Gold Diggers and Sugar Daddies?

Everything in life cannot be viewed in terms of right and wrong. Some things and some people are just different from the norm and we need to get to that level of maturity where we can accept that without tormenting those who are not like us.
I am often amazed at how strongly so many people—women, in particular, feel about older men dating younger women. By younger, I am referring in particular to instances where the man may be as much as 15 or 20 years older than his partner. For some women, that is the sickest and most repulsive thing a man can do. In their minds there is no difference between that and paedophilia. I find that a rather odd reaction, considering the fact that 19- and 20-year-old women have been getting married from time immemorial. In fact, this is something that is still desired and encouraged my many, including various religious denominations. To them, witnessing a young couple exchange marital vows is one of the most beautiful, and heavenly things to behold.         Hardly anyone has an issue with the maturity of such young couples. It only becomes a problem when the man happens to be way older than the woman, then all of a sudden she becomes such an innocent, immature child, who is about to be taken advantage of. There is no denying that there are some potential pitfalls with relationships in which there are such significant age differences. But it is also true that many of those concerns are not necessarily unique to such relationships. All relationships involve various degrees of risk and have their own inherent problems. Attempting to live with any human being is a challenge. Most people’s opposition to age differences in relationships stem from stereotypes and stereotypes will persist wherever there is closed-mindedness and ignorance. One of the most common arguments, for example, is that younger women are so much more immature than their older counterparts.
I am never quite sure what exactly people mean when they speak of “maturity” in this context. Are they saying that a 21-year-old woman is unable to hold an intelligent conversation? Is she unable to cook or go to a bank on her own to conduct a business transaction? Is she any less emotionally stable than a woman 20 years her senior? Is she less capable of being faithful? We all know that age alone does not determine one’s level of maturity—at least not the kind of maturity that is needed in order to ensure a successful relationship. Rather, it is one’s ability and desire to learn from one’s experiences and become a better person. There are many intelligent, independent, professional, and “mature” women out there, for example, who become insecure, needy, and emotional wrecks within the context of a relationship. Similarly, there are 24-year-old guys who are a lot more focused and more disciplined than any 40- or 50-year-old man.
We know for a fact that all older men are not impotent, neither are all young women insatiable sex addicts. What we do know is that the youth and sex appeal of a younger woman could make a 60-year-old man come alive in ways that would never happen with his 55-year-old wife. We also know that not all older men pursue younger women for the sole purpose of sexual adventure and excitement, neither are all young women gold diggers, at least not any more than the average woman who will refuse to date a man without a good job and a good income. Some people are attracted to thick women, dark-skinned men, and people with a sense of humour.                 Similarly, some men have a stronger inclination towards younger women. If there is something wrong with that then by extension, there is something wrong with everybody who has particular preferences in their choice of partners. It is also foolish to assume that all younger women derive their entertainment from night clubs and weekends of binge drinking, while older men only enjoy reading the papers quietly at home, with occasional outings to Country and Western dances.
No one likes to admit to it, but my guess is that jealousy and envy probably play a role in people’s opposition to the relationships in question; especially when they secretly wish they had the testicular fortitude to do what other people are doing and enjoying. It eats at a woman’s heart to know
that a man can skip past her and fall in love with someone she perceives as her inexperienced junior. It’s the same feeling that a black woman gets when she sees a black guy dating a white woman. “What does she have that I don’t?” she thinks. It’s a further blow to her ego when the younger woman reminds her of the sexy figure that she once flaunted, but which has now morphed into extra weight and a protruding mid-section. It upsets her that the man could take what appears to be the easier way out and enjoy a relatively stress-free, honeymoon-type relationship instead of the roommate or buddy-type relationships that are devoid of passion, which so many couples endure.                 Others may be disappointed that the older man chooses
a more malleable, open-minded younger woman
over one who is stuck in her ways, too “mature” to have childish fun, and overburdened with man baggage from
her previous relationships.
But all older women are not like that, are they? So why lump all older men and young women in one category?
Life is short. This is not a cliché. Death is a certainty and a reality. Allow other people the space and the freedom to do what makes them happy within the confines of the law. It is unrealistic to expect everybody to see life the way you do and to hold similar ideals to yours. It is worse to believe that it is your responsibility to make their lives miserable for being different.
A relationship between an older man and a younger woman may or may not work, but the same applies to any other relationship. You cannot judge the quality of two people’s experiences based on your own standards and experiences. A 6-month relationship may be the best experience that someone has, perhaps better than his 20 years of marriage. Instead of spending all that time mal palé-ing other people’s relationships, perhaps you should invest the time in injecting some life, excitement and freshness into yours—providing that you even have one to begin with.

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