Have you noticed that these days fewer and fewer people communicate via the spoken word? Makes you wonder what the future holds for guys once famous for having the gift of the gab.
Am I alone, or have you noticed too that more and more job applications reach potential employers and their human resource departments via the Internet? Despite the current scarcity of vacancies, applicants with apparent potential are sometimes invited by e-mail to come in for face-to-face interviews. Once in a while, however, an employer will choose, for various reasons, to conduct an interview via Skype before meeting an applicant in person—as I had occasion recently to do.
The particular job applicant was a UWI graduate, had according to her CV studied media and a host of other subjects including psychology. Alas, none of that had resulted in employment. It seemed no one needed her special services. Definitely not NICE!
She readily agreed to answer whatever queries I might have via Skype’s Instant Message system. I thought I might start off with something light, an ice-breaker, so to speak.
Me: So how does it feel coming home after all that expensive study only to find yourself on the breadline? I mean, you have loans to pay, right?
She: SMH Me: But then, the way things are these days with the economy . . . She: LOL
Me: Did you catch the prime minister’s most recent address? How did you rate it?             She: LMAO
Me: What position at the STAR do you have in mind?
She: IDK
Me: We may soon have an opening in our editorial department. Would you be interested? I see you studied communications at UWI.
She: IHU
Me: How long have you been job hunting? Why do you suppose no one has hired you when you seem qualified? You could do almost anything you put your mind to.
She: IHU
Me: You didn’t answer my questions. Take another look at them.
She: IDK
Me: I asked how long you’ve been looking for work?
She: LOL
Me: Why has no one hired you?
She: IDK
Me: How many interviews like this one have you had?
She: IDK.
Me: Maybe employers consider you over-qualified?
Me: What sort of salary might you be considering at this point?
Me: You realize if we take you on that you’ll be expected to serve a probationary period?
She: NP
By this point it had occurred to me that already I’d wasted far more of my time than I could afford to. I decided to bring the interview to an abrupt conclusion.
Me: Lady, I suggest you set your eyes on a career in politics where nobody is expected to make any sense.
Me: NVM. In other words, don’t be expecting me to TTYL!

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