It was Surgeo Bell who observed: “Never cheat on someone who is good to you, because karma is a bitch!” Nevertheless, we live in a culture where being cheated on by her men may well be a woman’s greatest worry. According to the dating site EHarmony, no single reason exists why cheating occurs. Clinical reports indicate it boils down to basic motivators: the need for attention; desire for stimulation when an individual feels empty, bored or self-absorbed; and impulsive personality style. Locally, there is an economic element – which amounts to prostitution while in a relationship.
No surprise that the STAR’s publisher and talk show host Rick Wayne has his own views on the subject – and didn’t mind sharing them, albeit with a wicked gleam in his eye: “I believe this, the word itself, ‘cheat’, is primarily associated with gambling; games of chance; exams. So should relationships be equated with games of chance, at which one wins or loses based on luck? Can you apply conditions to a marriage as you might with exams? Are we going to equate hormonal activities with sitting exams? What are the rules governing relationships? Are they word of mouth or are they written somewhere in stone?”
“Taking vows that have everything to do with libido,” he went on, “is obviously stupid. Who can control forever the strongest human urge, on which depends procreation?”
Wayne continued, “We invent institutions such as marriage, take vows to love one man or one woman for life, knowing full well we won’t . . . can’t keep them. The universal divorce figures are proof of that.”
Just when I thought he was through, he started again. “Show me a man who has never cheated, who has never lusted after a woman not his own, and I’ll show
you a liar.
“Now women, who I believe are superior in every way, seem able to resist the temptation to stray. Maybe because they have a kind of nesting instinct that nature denied males.”
He offered a surprise: “Of course, women do cheat, sometimes cheat, but usually they’ve been driven by men to do so!”
The final unexpected twist: “Comes a time, perhaps dictated ironically by Mother Nature, when men can’t be bothered to cheat; when it’s not worth the hassle, the cover-ups, the pretence, the money . . .”
He paused, smiled, before continuing: “Of course, by the time a man arrives at that stage in his life, he’s this close to turning his back on everything, forever!”
I should’ve known better than to ask Rick Wayne, of all people, a serious question, the answer to which no one seems to know for certain: Why do men cheat?