For several days now the local geniuses of social media have been doing what they do best: feeding the gullible thirsty. This week they turned their special attention to the MP for Laborie, Alva Baptiste. They’ve delivered to the notoriously loquacious, nearly always affable parliamentarian, a baby he claims he never planned or planted.
On Tuesday, he issued via his Facebook page a related statement: “I want to congratulate the Jacob family on the arrival of its newborn baby boy/girl. A child is truly a blessing from God. In this regard I wish to condemn, with my God-given might, those who utilize such an important blessing to engage in mischief by congratulating me on my newborn.
“I state categorically that not even the flimsiest of circumstantial evidence can associate me with any newborn child at this time. It is not highly improbable; it is impossible. We are not in the era of immaculate conception and/or its close relatives. Those who utilize Facebook to spread lies will face the wrath of God. Your life will be pregnant with problems, which shall give birth to your just reward.
“Instead of spreading your propaganda—with massive spread of Covid-19 virus—why don’t you spread the following message from the Ministry of Health?: Frequently wash hands with flowing water and soap; wear a mask when in public places and ensure it covers the mouth, nose and chin.”
Conceivably, the MP has not lately had much use for “lubricants for intercourse,” social or diplomatic!
This article first appeared in the January 2021 edition of the STAR Monthly Review. Be sure to get your printed copy on newsstands or view it here: https://issuu.com/starbusinessweek/docs/star_monthly_review_january_2021
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