Boys Messing With Toys

By their own admission, members of the House opposition came to parliament on Tuesday fully expecting business would be over before lunch. Obviously they intended only to voice their support for the day’s motion and then head out. Predictably, they had not anticipated Guy Joseph’s calculated stroll down Memory Lane. The opposition leader may have triggered the Castries Southeast MP’s need for some intellectual exercise. After all, he could have simply voiced his support for the prime minister’s motion, then taken his seat again. Instead, Philip Pierre mumbled something about how the Kenny Anthony government was responsible for introducing the now much anticipated Christmas barrels, but neglected to take responsibility for the VAT law that his once upon a time leader had denounced as “oppressive, anti-worker and anti-poor”—until he was returned to office.

As for the Vieux Fort North MP, Moses Jn Baptiste said on Tuesday: “Mr. Speaker, I suspect many of us did not come here to debate today, but the events of the last few minutes have caused me to go very far to research history, to put a few things right in this House.”

Among Guy Joseph’s Christmas barrels-related lines that grabbed the opposition by their throats: “Mr. Speaker, also included are the toys that will be distributed. And I want to assure members opposite that when the toys get here, they will get their share for distribution within their constituencies.”

Ernest Hilaire could not let that fly. “The honourable member speaks about toys and distributing toys for Christmas,” he jeered. “I want to say to him that the people of Castries Southeast want jobs for Christmas.” 

Surely Hilaire meant to say “the people of Castries South”—his constituents! He continued: “We will get toys but the people want jobs, jobs, Mr. Speaker! That is the most important thing because there are people throughout the constituency who cannot benefit from all the prosperity that the honourable member says exists in Saint Lucia. Where is all that prosperity? And I don’t want you to come and share toys with me. I will get toys. I want you to create jobs.”

The naked non sequiturs did not end there. The Vieux Fort North MP added: “Just very quickly, Mr. Speaker. The member for Castries Southeast spoke about toys. And he said that all parliamentarians will be given toys. And the member for Castries North asks me how many I want. I want to say, Mr. Speaker, I would have felt better respected, not as Moses Jn Baptiste, but as a member of parliament for Vieux Fort North. It would have been a better day had they consulted us on so many other things in the constituency . . . But toys? Because the way I look at it, it’s a way of giving toys to children. The minister goes on TV and says he gave the Vieux Fort North MP toys for the children. Mr. Speaker, I have to say it in this House: the Member of Parliament for Vieux Fort North personally does not want your toys. I will suggest, Mr. Speaker, to the government what to do with the toys for Vieux Fort North. If you want to give the people of Vieux Fort North toys, there’s a Belle Vue Primary School. The principal of the Vigier Combined School, she’s a new lady, very nice lady, take the toys to her. The Grace Primary School, take the toys to the Grace Primary School. Take the toys to the Pierrot Primary School. We have six early childhood education centres in Vieux Fort, take the toys to the administrators of the early childhood education centres.”

Contrary to the House rules, Jn Baptiste repeated himself in kwéyòl. The MP actually spent ten minutes talking about Christmas toys.  

Trust the Castries North MP to weigh in. “We all know the children look forward to receiving toys at Christmas,” said Stephenson King, perhaps connected to his Santa Claus persona. “We all know that.” 

But if you do not want the toys, how can you say who should receive them after you’ve rejected them? You must first accept the toys, say thank you very much, and then hand it to Tom, Dick and Mary. You cannot give away what is not yours to give. You must first accept it!”