Eye SPY

He’s been saying it for some time, if not nearly as often or as loudly as in the last few weeks: that he is indeed his brothers’ keeper. At any rate, as in blood brothers. Which is not to say he did not also spread mucho love among his finally not so REDy brethren. The whole world via the Internet must know by now he’s full of it.

Love, I mean. Indeed, it must’ve been clear even to long-distance spying eyes that the SLP’s chairman fully intended to stick close to his two brothers, both of whom had deserted the family warship in favor of a seat aboard targeted Allen Chastanet’s vessel when it seemed irretrievably stuck on a reef. A courageous and selfless decision on the part of the brothers, for which they’ve now been duly rewarded.

In any case, the stay-at-home brother had repeatedly let it be known that while he did not endorse his siblings’ desertion, he wished them well aboard their irrevocably grounded yellow submarine. There was a certain bite to that. But evidently few felt it until maybe recently: no matter how you cut it, the party chairman’s own unexpressed desire was in harmony with his brothers’ well-laid plans.

This week a wide awake Peterson ‘Sleepy’ Francis was sworn in as mayor with responsibility for everything that moves and shakes in the city. In beaming attendance was a houseful of chirpy yellow canaries, including the formerly red new justice minister and former top cop Hermingild Francis, all suited-up for the special occasion. But what turned the particular swearing-in ceremony for the new batch of city councilors into a portentous family affair was the unanticipated presence of the once much-ballyhooed second and third most powerful presence in Saint Lucia; the former senate prez and current SLP chairman—Brother Claudius. (Mr. Sam J.B. Flood will doubtless disagree with my spelling of the name!) Come to think about it: is it just possible the brothers Francis planned all along to put an end to Kenny Dee’s days of Grey Goose, wine and roses at SLP expense? You know, planned—as in conspired? Let’s face it, there’s no position more dangerously powerful than party chairman on a mission. (Forget wimpy so-called political leaders that might come to mind; they’re just, er, window dressing; cosmetics). As the former “God’s Child” in his new role of House gardeur announced on Facebook this week: “Some interesting times await us all!” Pity he never such times coming when he was still positioned to save himself. Take note, Allen; take note!

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Poor Sister Sarah: When she was against abortion as the cure for every social problem, from unemployment to prostitution and crime in Vieux Fort—and openly spoke her mind—it seemed what every reporter wanted to hear from her was whether she was some kind of saint, virgin or nut job. Even when she added herself to ONE and made it TWO then made it ONE again, the matter of legal abortions was what dogged her wherever she turned. Finally Sarah moved closer to the Pope and stayed there for Lord knows how long. She returned home at the behest of the then next prime minister of Saint Lucia and performed a miracle that Stanley Felix is not likely to forget any time soon. Do you think local reporters tried to find out from her how she was able to unseat our most garrulous housing minister after just two weeks of campaigning in some of the roughest corners of the city? Nah! all they want to know is what are Sister Sarah’s personal feelings about our long established laws that make certain bedroom antics between consulting adults illegal in Saint Lucia. How come no one ever asked Kenny about his personal feelings in relation to Dame Pearlette? Or about the one or two serial rapists in our midst. Or even about the GG’s hats when reading her scripted throne speeches. How come no one has asked Pip to unburden his heart on matters Ernest? Or whether he still considers the MP for Desruisseaux the poster boy for the economic class!

See ya’ll next time!

—Missy Laneous