“I have to leave to be me”

[dropcap]W[/dropcap]e all have different ideas of what it means to live freely. While for some it means to simply live unrestricted by a nine to five job—having the liberty to make unpoliced, daily decisions—for others it may mean to be a nomad, traversing the planet as if it were a playground. For everyone, however, safety is a top priority. To walk the streets and engage in ordinary activities without fear of violence, abduction and/or verbal assault is not a luxury, it is a human right. But what if, by law, your safety as a citizen was treated as nonessential or, more frankly, the law permitted violence against you or a loved one because of personal choices? We will, however, reflect on the law as a latter point; let us first begin with ourselves.

Although we have managed to keep sexual orientation a taboo subject, the Caribbean, like places the world over, has always had an LGBT community. Here though, the lives of its members are often subjected to unthinkable realities even in our most sacred institutions: family, church and education.

Often times, home becomes an unsafe space for LGBT identifiers. Imagine having a 6-year-old son who, with no outside influence, develops effeminate mannerisms (not saying that all males with said body language are gay or that all gay males express themselves this way). In the height of his most uninhibited self-expression, when he is carefree and happy, life oozes from him and his appetite for living is contagious. You suspect he may be gay but surely, your nurturing style has not introduced or tolerated such ideas so you believe it will pass. Years later, he admits to you that he likes boys. Fear grips you on account of what the world would think—neighbours, society at large—so you condemn his behaviour, you want to protect him. As a result of your own denial you try denying him the right to be himself and so, for your son, home is no longer a sanctuary. But, as identity issues often go, his unrequited feelings torment him throughout his life, if he can bare it, or, he builds a life elsewhere—robbing you of the blessings his presence in your life could have awarded.

Such was the relayed experience of participants in the latest Human Rights Watch Report, “I have to leave to be me,” which examined the lives and experiences of LGBT identifiers across seven countries in the Eastern Caribbean. In the study, 18-year-old Arthur from Saint Kitts & Nevis revealed this about himself and his family members: “I was not the most masculine of boys growing up, being called “anti-man” as a result by them . . . [Whenever] I did something feminine [they would] jump on me . . . Mother was a very homophobic person, she asked me to change the way I talked and walked, I didn’t like it . . . She knew [I was gay] and she was in denial [because of] her feeling embarrassed.”

Then, there is 20-year-old Ernest from Barbados who recalled his experience after informing his mother of his liking for men in 2011, to which she responded, “How could you like men? That’s nasty! You give up that shit! You’re nasty, you’re nasty!” She would later confront him with passages from the bible and encourage his brothers to beat him.

There are also numerous other instances where gay, lesbian, transgender and bisexual men and women revealed cases where they were chased, stoned and beaten up for no other reason than another’s arrogant intolerance of their existence.

In the Caribbean, rejection on the basis of sexual orientation is often underscored by the church. We live in a predominantly Christian society. For those who do not strictly follow Christian practices, most would find that their moral compasses are shaped by Christian teachings. What else would make a person who, for years, has not set foot in a church, rarely reads the bible, someone prone to violence or some other more socially acceptable inglorious act, quote the bible as an excuse to shun others?

20-year-old Nicholas, in the same study, relayed his experience of being gradually coerced out of the church choir, and ultimately the church, due to speculation about his sexuality. It was said that the church perceived him to be too ‘effeminate’ and led pastors to question his ability to take on certain responsibilities. Eventually, he was put on probation.

Not all religions subscribe to this habit of exclusion. The report also indicated that “the archbishop of the West Indies and Anglican bishop of Barbados, Dr. John Holder, spoke out against violence against LGBT people, stating that every human being must be treated equally. He emphasized to believers that an individual’s sexual orientation does not deny their status as a child of God.” This idea links to the fact that the bible also condemns the violence that LGBT identifiers are regularly subjected to in the Caribbean—precisely violence and discrimination strengthened by our laws.

In Saint Lucia, our laws criminalize “buggery” with a term of 10 years to life in prison. Viewing the context of how we adopted the illegalization of same-sex conduct between consenting adults would make anyone question its basis; it was passed down by British Colonial Rule, at a time when Christianity was a tool for oppression. In 1967 however, Britain repealed its buggery law as far as it pertained to consensual, private homosexual acts. Yet, as a former colony, our legal system still maintains this law which ultimately empowers and strengthens the hands of abusers.

Organisations like the Eastern Caribbean Alliance for Diversity and Equality and local advocacy group United and Strong aim to use findings from the Human Rights Watch report to have these issues addressed by those in authority and have laws revised in order to keep everyone safe.

Individually, perceptions of what is right and wrong, moral and immoral, are largely subjective, but for a larger portion of society, their perception does not render them vulnerable to assault. For members of the LGBT community, on the other hand, currently living in the Caribbean means little of a life, if at all. Is there a person who will deny that subscribing to traditional and religious teachings or merely personal opinions, is not at all synonymous with discrimination? Whatever a person’s life looks like, whether they lay next to someone of the same sex at night or bow to a deity—particularly if no harm is being done to others—no one should be assaulted for their views. We often demand our own beliefs be respected but, to live in harmony, we need to learn to be tolerant of the beliefs of others.