Saint Lucians welcome Hamlet!

Recently, while on another sojourn from Blighty, the presumed whiz kid Ernest Hilaire told the whole wide world via WVENT, Calabash-TV and the Internet, that his fellow Looshans have no appetite for intercourse not diplomatically lubricated. That was his somewhat condescending explanation when he found himself talking mainly to himself last Thursday evening.

Not for the first time, he dropped ball. As well-positioned as he is to know what gets Saint Lucians hot and bothered, he forgot we are also a picky lot when it comes to our entertainment. Ask Boo. Ask Bingo. Ask Nicole“Wukin’ Up Is We Kolcha” David. Ask, well, ask anyone!

That most sober Castries residents saw no good reason to go out of their way to give Hilaire an audience at last Thursday evening’s welcome WVENT 97.5 debut show, starring the earlier mentioned apparent hambassador-at-large and scholar, proves only that we know when our intelligence is being insulted. And we don’t always consider that funny. Also, once bitten . . . well, you know the rest.

At Saint Lucia’s Old Vic Theater (aka the Gaiety) last Tuesday evening there was no booze for the asking; no free chicken backs; no free dope, no free tee shirts with or without corny emblems on the front. There was not a single witting belly wobbler in sight; no pole straddlers; no Papa Vader; no reconstituted Ashanti—and no pregnant male politicians masquerading.

What there was instead was Hamlet—featuring a black prince of Denmark. And surprise, surprise, the UK’s visiting Shakespeare Globe Theater company drew a standing-room-only audience. Not that anyone was actually left without a seat, you understand.

The only glitch was Emma Hippolyte the lost, the commerce ministry’s VLT-loving Mother Theresa, who probably took a wrong turn and landed at the Gaiety a good 30 minutes after the curtain had risen, her trademark gargantuan corsage (does she actually cultivate these monster fleur de lis?) and turquoise ensemble lighting up the darkened stage as she fumbled around toward her reserved seat.

Theater-loving Babonneau was well-represented by Alvina “You are What You Eat” Reynolds, the health minister. Well known as a major fan of The Bard, House Speaker and QC Peter Foster, with a couple of his cute offspring, also took time from his lawyer activities to be with local lovers of drama. So did the actor best known for his impersonations of our prime minister.

Hopefully, the Taiwanese community also found time to enjoy the well-reviewed Hamlet and will, before too long, help the real prime minister keep at least one promise before he hands over to one of his two in-house geniuses Ernest Hilaire or Jimmy Fletcher. (Don’t chuckle, who’s to stop Kenny from enacting a law that makes it possible for wannabes to become PM without confronting the electorate? The governor general?)

Yes, here’s hoping the Taiwanese people will deliver the theater that our PM promised at election time, along with jobs-jobs-jobs that abruptly turned into cuts-cuts-cuts—for some!

Speaking of cuts (and this really has nothing to do with this week’s Gaiety drama), I hear that in Vieux Fort some stores have taken to selling toilet paper by the foot. Does our compassionate prime minister know? Oh, by the way, the word is he plans to catch a performance or two at Portobello Road Market!