SO WHO’S POLITICIZING CORONAVIRUS? ‘I dunno, I dunno, I dunno! You want me to lie?’

Right now Saint Lucia is the worst prepared island for this virus in the entire region. You know why? Because on Sunday there was a meeting of Heads of Government. And you know our prime minister is a frequent flyer. But you know the prime minister did not see it fit to attend a meeting to discuss this virus in Barbados.” 

On Tuesday evening Philip J. Pierre, leader of the House opposition, presented to a gathering of party faithfuls in Dennery the above shocking necklace of non sequiturs. The televised event was also carried live on social media. Choking with emotion, Pierre repeated himself.   

“The prime minister did not go!” he bawled. “He refused to go. All of the other prime ministers went. But our prime minister did not see it fit to get on an aircraft and go to Barbados to discuss what could be one of the most serious issues facing our island. He did not go.”

For once exuding the confidence of Usain Bolt on his record-setting way to the finish line, Pierre spilled more vomitous beans. “And when they called him on the phone,” he said, “when they called the prime minister on the phone to have a discussion on the virus, you know what he said? After the conversation, when they were telling him how the virus had spread, you know what he said in the background? He want a Ti Ponche.” 

Who exactly was “they” who called the prime minister on the phone? As to how far the virus had spread, who was the updating “they?” Presumably the answers were classified.

Pierre paused yet again, waited for the anticipated audience reaction—the well-well-wells, the amplified teeth-sucking and other rude noises, the bopping bobbleheads, all of it recorded for later editing and calculated redistribution, reminiscent of worshippers at a Benny Hinn Miracle Crusade. 

The camera now focused on his face, Pierre proceeded, like a man who woke up in the middle of the night to discover a fer de lance under his pillow—and lived to tell the miracle. “When people were talking serious business,” he hissed, “he was asking for a drink of Ti Ponche!” 

Another pregnant pause.  As I studied the amateur-night theatrics from my armchair, I was reminded of an earlier time when even the worst of the Labour Party’s snore mongers were guaranteed uproarious crowd behavior whenever they told a joke that placed a certain former prime minister in proximity to a liquor bottle. “Bountee! Bountee!” went the sound of irrational exuberance. “Toujours sou! Toujours sou!” 

Finally Don Quixote took his final desperate swing at the windmills in his head: “When the people were talking about serious business he was asking for a drink of Ti Ponche . . . And I defy him to say that’s not true. And if he says that is not true, I will publish the tape where he’s saying to give him a drink of Ti Ponche. That is the kind of prime minister we have in this country!”

What people? Where? These days it seems everyone has a tape, whether or not obviously doctored. Actually the prime minister need not pick up Pierre’s gauntlet—not when there is the recorded testimony of Pierre’s deputy, Shawn Edward, to vouch for him. Evidently the absent opposition leader had more important matters on his plate.

At the conclusion of a specially convened meeting of the National Emergency Management Advisory Committee last Friday, also attended by the prime minister, this is what the clearly elated Dennery MP had said: “On behalf of the parliamentary opposition, I just want to register our collective gratitude to the health team. When I listened to the presentations by Dr. Belmar and her team, it’s hard to imagine there is anywhere else in the region where they can top this.” So much for being “the worst prepared!”

“I mean, this is world-class!” said Shawn Edward. “When we are not able to achieve things, sometimes it’s not because we lack the capacity but because of resource constraints. I had my own personal fears, I must admit, prior to coming here this morning. But a lot of that has been allayed and I think I will leave here better informed and I can now, at least at the level of constituency if not nationally, help with a level of preparedness in the event we are faced with a case.”

Then there are the facts relating to the Sunday meeting that according to the SLP’s main man Saint Lucia’s prime minister had “refused” to attend. By verified account, the prime ministers of the region have stayed in touch with the CARICOM head in Barbados for more than two weeks. They had formed a special committee and a sub-committee relating to various coronavirus-related protocols. The last-mentioned group reported back last Friday. 

Allen Chastanet was among the prime ministers who expressed the need for last Sunday’s emergency meeting in Barbados. Saint Lucia’s CMO also attended with another local official. The prime ministers who could not be in Barbados contributed nevertheless via Zoom. The Barbados summit was well covered by mainstream and social media. Most of the reports acknowledge the presence and contribution of Saint Lucia’s prime minister.

Somewhat perplexing, not to say out of character, is Pierre’s motivation for putting out a story to the world that could so easily be debunked. Surely he could not have imagined he was helping Saint Lucia by disseminating false news about the island’s state of preparedness in relation to a health problem the world has never before encountered. It is inconceivable that Pierre would be so retarded as not to have considered the consequences of his statement on the resident population, as well as on potential visitors, including foreign investors. Pierre’s speech recalled another gathering when party leader Kenny Anthony mindlessly threatened to advise foreign entrepreneurs to invest elsewhere, on the basis that the day’s government was corrupt beyond measure.   

With no evidence whatsoever, Kenny Anthony repeated the corruption charge in an interview with a leading British newspaper shortly after the Ollie Gobat murder—this time against the island’s police force. 

More recently another SLP MP made unwanted headlines when he assured Dominicans that the pre-election chaos they were experiencing was planned in Saint Lucia. Later he sought to lay blame for the fall-out on detractors that had twisted his words, that while the rotten eggs were hatched in Saint Lucia the hatchers were not necessarily native Saint Lucians. 

The line added fuel to the bonfire, suggesting as it did that unidentified mercenaries may have been given cover in Saint Lucia as they prepared to interfere in a sister island’s elections—at a time when a CIP-related Al Jazeera documentary had painted some of the OECS territories the ugliest of colors. It was no secret that the United States and the E.U. were monitoring the Dominica elections. To date, the Labour Party has seen no reason to clarify the statement by one of its leading members.

Shortly before lunch on Thursday, the man who would be prime minister in place of Allen Chastanet attempted to undo the self-inflicted damage to his image. He assured reporters at a press conference that he had “never practiced the spread of rumors and lies,” that his reference to “the absence of the prime minister was to highlight the lack of sufficient attention that our government is giving at a policy level to addressing the coronavirus.” 

Does that mean Pierre still did not realize his error, that contrary to his statement on Tuesday, the prime minister was present in Barbados with officials of the health ministry? Or was he simply hell-bent on perpetuating what he had “never practiced?” Talk about jumping out of the frying pan into the fire!

“To the extent that some still feel that I misled them,” he went on, “I must humbly state that was not my intention. I felt and still feel that for a meeting of such importance the prime minister should have been there throughout and I acted on the information I had at the time.” 

He listed several questions he wished to put to the prime minister. As for “the medical professionals and technical people,” Pierre acknowledged they were “trying their very best to achieve world class standards of preparation.” Nevertheless there are some critical issues he wished to address to the prime minister “on behalf of the people of Saint Lucia.”

As earlier stated, last Friday Pierre turned down an invitation to join what was arguably the most important meeting ever held in Saint Lucia, that of the National Emergency Management Advisory Committee, in relation to the coronavirus. As already noted, the MP for Dennery deputized for Pierre, then later lauded the level of preparedness as “world class!” It is difficult to imagine none of Pierre’s questions had occurred to any of the experts at Friday’s emergency conference—not even to Pierre’s stand-in on the occasion!

It would serve us well to keep in mind the following words by Nietzsche: “I’m not upset that you lied to me. I’m upset that from now on I can’t believe you!”