Police sure do get a bad rap nowadays. With the United States pulling out funding, who may or may not be commissioner, and the entrance of the ‘Leahy Law’ into our vernacular, it seems that our boys in black and white have been facing some real heavy scrutiny as of late. However, it’s hard to muster an ounce of sympathy when you hear stories like the one I heard a few evenings ago.
A friend feverishly apologized for his tardiness, explaining that a family emergency had arisen. A relative’s home, in the north of the island, had been burglarized and his young cousin traumatized when the thief threatened to kill her or slit her throat if she dared to even speak. After pilfering every gadget in sight, the brazen burglar hightailed it off the balcony Spider man style when he heard movement in another part of the house. Shaken, the victims called Gros-Islet’s finest to investigate the matter. When no one showed up, they called again only to be given the poorest of excuses. Nope, not the always popular we don’t have any vehicles. This time it was ‘we couldn’t find the place.’
Sadly, this is not an isolated incident. A couple arrived home during the carnival season to find that their home had been ransacked and their passports with newly minted visas stolen. The officer arrived on the scene, listened to their statements, then asked the all important question.
“AA! Opening of carnival finish already? It was good?”
Because, you know, that’s what’s really important here.
But then again, I have always found the police to be very social beings. Just last week as I walked down the street a friendly neighbourhood officer slowed his vehicle and rolled down his window to blow me a kiss. Undaunted by my glare of disgust and disdain, he proceeded to turn the vehicle around and repeat the unwanted gesture.
This appears to be a common occurrence. I recently observed a posse of four riding around heckling and cajoling a group of unimpressed ladies waiting on transportation.
Might I suggest using this abundance of idle time to solve a crime?
They’re not all terrible though. Some have quite an aptitude for picking up on little details. Like the gentleman who took my call at the Criminal Investigations Department, put me on hold, then proceeded to describe “a coolie ting” at great length. Satisfied that his comrade was sufficiently apprised of the situation, he returned to our call with “Yeah my girl, talk to me!”
Ladies and gentlemen, this is your Royal St Lucia Police Force, sworn to serve and protect.
Aren’t you proud?