[dropcap]I[/dropcap] do not wish to rain on anyone’s parade on this auspicious occasion of the commemoration of International Women’s Day. No doubt activities to celebrate the day have been well-planned; we will all be urged to come out in our finest and to give ear to our leaders’ scripted speeches. I have no wish to pour iced water over the many consultations and forums where women and a sprinkling of men will meet in air-conditioned discomfort to talk about how we can work to stop the maltreatment of women and children in our society by the very people who are paid to protect them, or expected to do so in the name of what’s right.
Neither do I wish to shake my head at the hundredth and one march and millionth vigil, with participants holding up placards that plead for an elusive justice for souls long departed: among them Tricia Denis, Giselle Georges, Valerie Lorde, Mary Ratcliffe, Saadia Byron . . .
Gender Affairs Minister Dr Gale Rigobert has applauded the many special activities to be looked forward to: spiritual, legal, social, entrepreneurial and artistic. This year all the major players have been invited to band together and create a “national programme of activities”. I wonder if members of Saadia Byron’s family were on the invitation list? Or relatives of the children diagnosed with sexually transmitted diseases?
For a minute, while listening to the minister’s presentation proferred via her Facebook page, I thought she would dub the events a Women’s Festival. This year we will be asked to join in celebrating the efforts of women in business, to head to Derek Walcott Square to hang on clothes-lines T-shirts highlighting domestic violence against women and girls; and there will be forums and workshops to tell business owners stories related to sexual harassment issues.
As we pat ourselves on the back and accept congratulations for organising this International Women’s Day, let us remember the overwhelming number of girls and women in Saint Lucia who continue to suffer in silence.
We are a society of great pretenders. We all know the horror stories of the injustices done to women and girls in this country, yet we do nothing useful! Our babies and little girls are being violated. Babies and young girls have penises shoved into their mouths, vaginas and anuses, many consequently contracting sexually transmitted diseases. Mothers, take a few seconds and process that!
Children in their own homes are molested and abused on a regular basis while many of us look the other way. We bury our suspicions. We pretend. Girls and women are being violated, raped, abused in every which way, mentally and emotionally. Even when they are brutally murdered we keep up the killing pretence. We express anger, outrage, and share the news on Whatsapp and Facebook for two days. Then we wait for the next breaking horror story.
Do we take pleasure in those atrocities? We speculate, give opinions and suggestions and find every reason to blame the victim. We have no regard for their feelings. We leave them and their families to suffer in silence. We elect into office women who echo the silence of their male colleagues! We do have the power to effect change but how far are we prepared to leave our comfort zones and
roll up our sleeves, kick off our six-inch heels, pull off our weaves and wigs and take up the fight? And yes, I said fight, not talk, not march, not beg and plead for justice. We have done enough of that with no useful fall-out. Let’s stop doing the same things the same way while expecting different results.
We, women have been, for the most part, head of our households. We are what’s holding this society. We have endured unimaginable hardships and abuse and torture and we have survived. Let us now do more than survive. For those of us in positions to effect change, let us do so for our sisters who cannot. Let us do it for our wounded children who will become broken adults.
What can you do? Nurses, doctors, pediatricians examine thoroughly, babies and young children who cannot speak. Look for possible signs of abuse. Hold parents accountable. Question scars, bruises, scratches; this might just serve as a deterrent for abusive caretakers. Mothers, teachers, social workers, counsellors, you are overworked and underpaid but open your eyes. Take note of the changes in children’s behaviour. The signs are there. A child who suddenly becomes quiet and withdrawn. A child who plays alone. A child who is suddenly disruptive and aggressive. A child who abuses other children or animals. Stop and ask why.
Female politicians, ministers, lawyers, magistrates, judges, police officers, stop congratulating yourselves on how far we have come; do something! Do something about the lenient laws that pertain to abuse and rape of women, especially when weapons are involved. These criminals should never walk the streets again. They are, at their core, cowardly and weak. Their power and control comes from raping and more than likely they will do it again.
Once convicted their names and photos should be publicized. Why do we continue to hide and shelter rapists? Why do we claim to be protecting the victim? We allow the cowards to walk among us, unknown. As long as we allow this culture of rape, abuse and denial to continue in Saint Lucia then we have NOTHING to celebrate.
A few degrees, top positions, house and land, expensive vehicles? What’s there to celebrate? Professional women must move to stop the abuse in our own homes and be an example to the rest. It is time to speak up, stand up and join the movement for change. No more marching, no more begging, no more pleading with the authorities. Time for action. If we put our heads together, our professional achievements together, pool our resources, offer assistance in our various fields, we can make a difference and create a better tomorrow for our children.
I heard the minister say her priority is to meet the police and the attorney general to enact a “suite of legislation that would be, as it were, preventative”. I am not sure what any of that meant. But until we meet head-on, “as it were,” this devil that continues to destroy our children, we will merely be celebrating for celebrating’s sake; celebrating the devil’s work!
To the many women suffering in the small communities that no politician has ever visited, save at election time, your abuse should not define you. You have to rise above it, as have Oprah Winfrey, Maya Angelou, Gabrielle Union, Queen Latifah, Mary J. Blige, Fantasia, Jane Fonda, Lady Gaga, Missy Elliot, and Karlyn Percil. The last name is a Saint Lucian who has opened up about her own abuse and is now using her experience as an international platform for empowering women and girls.
Educate yourselves sisters; empower yourselves; aim for financial independence and stop the abuse!
— Writter: Maureen Marshall
