Tears streamed down her face as Grandalene Pistol recalled her husband’s plan to build a new home for his family. Stan Pistol was fatally shot at his place of work on March 16. Two men have been arrested and charged with the crime.
“We were in the process of building,” Grandalene said this week. “We were already in the process of building when he died. Now he won’t be there to enjoy our new home with us. He was a builder. He would design and build. He would draw a plan. That man was so talented. He was the best husband I could have ever dreamed of. To our two kids, he was the greatest dad.”
She recalled their last family outing. Her husband drove them to a restaurant in Gros Islet. Later they stopped at the beach where they happened upon a young couple. “They looked like they had just started dating,” said Grandalene, smiling at last. “Stan started making up stories about what young people do on their first outing together. The kids just burst out laughing. Then our daughter asked: ‘When you met my mummy, is that what you did?’ We all had a great time.”
Speaking of their children, Grandalene said life had turned for them into a rollercoaster ride of emotions as they try to cope with the loss of their father. “We have our moments,” she said. “There are times when the pain is unbearable. I have to deal with their emotions, so I really don’t even have time to consider my own feelings. I have to be strong for them. But it’s not all sadness and tears. Sometimes, when reliving moments with their dad, the kids will laugh so hard that I can’t help breaking up myself. I think they comfort themselves with these memories. Sometimes other people tell them stories about their dad, how generous and kind he was. That helps a lot.”
Her daughter dreams of Stan almost every night. It’s like he didn’t die; that “he’s in surgery recovering”. “She gets a lot of support at school,” Grandalene told me. “Her friends have really pampered her. She is older, so she handles the situation better than her brother. Sometimes she has to comfort him, especially when another kid has said something bad about Stan. One time another boy told him, ‘That’s why they had to kill your father.’ He came home and told me how much the boy’s remark had hurt him. He opted on his own to talk with a counsellor.”
It gets worse. “My son sometimes fears leaving me alone at home. He often says, ‘Mummy have a safe day.’ Then he’ll walk out the door, only to return seconds later to hug me.” Grandalene had kind words for the police who’ve been checking on her quite often at her shop since her husband’s murder. Unfortunately, the mini mart has also suffered in the aftermath. “The business has been dealt a big blow. The customers are trickling in right now. They’re taking it hard because every time they come, they remember their last moments with Stan.”
She added: “There are so many ‘what ifs’ and ‘I should haves’ that have been going on in my head. I should have left the restaurant earlier, and gotten here. Maybe I should not have taken the message. Maybe if they came and they saw us here together, they would have changed their minds. They would have not shot him that night. There are so many ifs. I ask myself, ‘What could I have done to avoid that or prevent that from happening?’ It’s a scenario that keeps playing in my head.”
As for the ones who took away her husband, Grandalene says she has forgiven them. “They have a chance to sit and examine their lives and ask God for forgiveness,” she said. “I cannot have all that anger. If I stay angry I won’t be able to move on. I would be a bitter person. I do not want my children to see me bitter all the time; angry all the time. I’m praying to God that justice will be served.”
