Ihave never truly understood why so many talk about achieving perfection while, at the same time, declaring it a mission impossible. More than that, many will say perfection is based on perception, and therefore varies. An ‘eye of the beholder’ thing. However, many on Facebook seem to enjoy “perfect” relationships rather than actually trying to obtain perfection.
Perfection is entirely up to perception—if only vicariously. Relationship goals are often depicted on social media through pictures of seemingly perfect, drop-dead gorgeous couples engaged in one activity or another. People glorify these images, particularly singles consumed with the day-to-day facade of the internet. I confess I’ve been sucked on occasion into that mindset. Fortunately, Facebook also has its positive sides. Recently I watched an FB video about a relationship coach who was speaking against settling for the first or second romantic proposition that comes your way. He suggested viewers put together a list of the top ten attributes you want in a partner.
I wasted no time getting to work on what I thought I wanted of a possible lifetime lover. Well, let’s say I grabbed a pen and some paper but, try as I might, I didn’t know where to start. Suddenly my mind was a total blank. When some ideas came up I decided they were superficial – things like physical attributes and other trivialities. And then I jotted down the word ‘ambition’ by which I meant someone who knew what he wanted out of life and was determined to get it regardless of roadblocks and other discouragements; someone who reminded me of me, ambition-wise. He should also be capable of challenging and stimulating me, intellectually and otherwise; someone with good communication skills.
Suddenly I was on a roll: the person I chose to share my life with should be respectful of women generally, and of me in particular. He should be ready to stand by me no matter what—in the same way I would always have his back. My ideal man would always reassure me that I was his priority, in words and actions. His personal goals would, ideally, harmonize with my own. It didn’t mean we were always to occupy the same space, but we had to have a common objective. My perfect man would have no time for pettiness.
All in all what I really wanted was a man who could melt my heart with the inner workings of his mind. Too much to ask for? Well, one of my favourite golden oldies is a song entitled “If you don’t have a dream, how you gonna make a dream come true?” We’d be so busy living our special reality there’d be no time left for posting alternative facts on Facebook. Come to think about it, perhaps that should’ve topped my list of attributes for my dream lover!