A recent HTS news headline: Talk Show Host Blunders PM’s ’23 Islands’ Claim. I hereby acknowledge that for some years now I’ve ceased paying attention to the countless unprovoked attacks by our “media practitioners” on the beautiful living language of Derek Walcott, Hemingway, and others of their ilk: English.
Normally I’d have dismissed the headline, on the basis that you are what you read, that whatever came under that HTS banner had to be at least as poisonous to the brain as what preceded it. Alas, on the occasion I chose to make an exception. Why? Well, there was this near irresistible teaser: “Did you know that prime minister Allen Chastanet announced plans to build what he described would be Saint Lucia’s version of the famous palm islands [sic]? In a 2018 interview with Monty Khan, an Indian born actor and TV presenter, Prime Minister Chastanet revealed plans were in the works to construct 23 islands. But the veteran journalist and firebrand talk show host Rick Wayne may have jumped the gun when he vehemently rubbished the claims on his weekly talk show.”
Jumped what gun? An accompanying undated video featured what sounded like the voice of star HTS reporter Rehani Isidore: “Prime Minister Allen Chastanet has not publicly announced on a Saint Lucian platform exceedingly ambitious plans to build more than a dozen new islands. He did make the bold statement on a yet to be commenced project almost twelve months ago during a taped interview with Indian born actor and TV presenter Monty Khan.”
HTS offered proof of the interview, with the prime minister revealing to the Indian interviewer that his government had broken ground on a horse-racing track and “we’re also building our own version of Palm Islands. We’re building our own chain of 23 islands . . .” To which Khan says: “That is amazing . . . you’re building your own Dubai!” It’s hard to tell whether he is being professionally courteous or merely pandering. Actors are forever auditioning.
The local HTS presenter then goes into a short but discouraging history of Palm Islands, before showering me with a Niagara of fulsome praise. Well known Mr. Nice Guy that he is, Rehani Isidore expressed the hope my decades-long illustrious career might somehow survive my “blunder.”
Now let’s rewind just a bit. On last Thursday’s TALK, I introduced two quite hilarious 3-minute videos featuring a New York-based soi-disant comedian lauding my guest, Guy Joseph, for the way he had demolished the opposition’s recent motion of no confidence in the prime minister. I took the opportunity to complain about some otherwise intelligent folk who seem incapable of resisting the temptation to send me unsolicited insane WhatsApp messages. I cited, but did not identify, a major disseminator who happens to be a longtime friend and a Saint Lucian currently visiting from New York. I revealed on my show that we’d stayed up talking on the phone from 10 p.m. last Wednesday till almost one in the morning. Way past my normal bedtime.
She had phoned to ask, “Is Allen building 23 islands on Saint Lucia’s coastline?” My immediate reaction: “Why do you persist in asking me stupid questions? Why didn’t you ask your source for some useful details? Have you seen any such islands here? Why would Allen want to build 23 islands? Where would he build them? What would be the cost? Where would the money come from? Try asking your friend such questions and tell me what she said.” By lunchtime the next day I had received at least a dozen copies of the earlier mentioned HTS news clip, and an edited bit from TALK, with veiled suggestions that I had sought to defend the prime minister. Or had rubbished his idea.
Truth: I knew nothing of the existence of the HTS tape, recorded in March 2018, it turns out. Neither did my friend when she called me for confirmation that “Allen is building 23 islands . . .” My comments on TALK were for popular edification: you come off looking damn stupid when you seek to spread mindless propaganda. Had I known before taking my friend’s call, of Chastanet’s interview with Mr. Khan, there’d have been no difference in my reaction. I’d have proffered the same advice given my friend from New York. An obviously stupid idea does not assume Solomonic dimensions just because it fell out of a particular mouth. As for that HTS headline, a small word of advice to the company’s star scribbler: “Blunder is a noun. And though it can be used as an intransitive verb, still you need to know your English onions.”
To write “Show Host Blunders PM’s Claim . . .” is, well, pure gibberish. If the headline writer’s intention was to use “blunder” as a verb, then he should’ve left out the rest of the line: “Show Host Blunders!” Or “Show Host Blundered When He Claimed” blah, blah, blah. Obviously, it is Saint Lucia’s lead media practitioner who needs to pay more attention to what he says and writes if he hopes to be what he imagines himself to be. As he acknowledges in his egregious item, I’ve not been too bad at what I do. At any rate, so unforgettably pronounced the late great Sir Derek publicly—more than once. No number of ill-conceived, badly constructed headlines by rank amateurs can possibly change that.
To borrow from Popeye: “I yam what I yam and dat’s what I yam!”
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