It’s a common body type among Caribbean women with African blood in our veins: big batties, strong thighs, and double Ds wrapped up in spicy personalities. Despite the unending efforts of healthy-living gurus, many of us proudly carry a little extra padding—replete with pouches, love handles, and assorted rolls and folds. In Saint Lucia such women are not considered trophy-wife material. Here phatty-phat girls aren’t arm pieces; not in the open, anyway. They don’t meet the profile of what BET beams into our homes, by one means or another. No surprise that we are perceived by quite a number of the uninformed as condemned to a sad life of closed-door relationships. If only they knew! After conducting a several weeks of interviews that demanded too many sleepless nights (ahem!) I now dare to say more Caribbean men than you’d imagine prefer to jump over well-padded women—in the nicest way. They love to gorge; many admitting the best sex they ever had was with ladies whose bones carried more than a little, er, meat. Nearly all my subjects admitted they arrived in Nirvana much faster with heavy females. They also found the women far more flexible than their easily broken counterparts, and a lot more adventurous. As for doing the dog, hey, Rufus Thomas (Google him!) didn’t know the half of it. From a canine vantage, the guys all claimed, the view was to die
for. Most of them volunteered they had cheated on their relatively skinny girlfriends past and present—with thick women. Several times! I discovered many had broken solemn promises to regular-size ladies and placed rings on the fingers of curvaceous hotties who were not shy about ordering rice and macaroni as their sides. Now, I’m not claiming every man on this rock is a big meat eater, you understand. Only that a lot more than you’d expect turned out to be addicted to juicy slabs of flank. Something about the extra fluff evidently drives them bonking—I mean, bonkers. The uncovered truth is that when it comes to doing the nasty, there ain’t no such thing as figure flaws! My interviews with over twenty satisfied-looking plus-size ladies convinced me that in the heat of the night (or day) there’s no time for microscopic studies of body parts not necessarily involved in what’s going down. As far as their delirious partners were concerned these ladies with their hanging midriff rolls might just as well have been six-packed bootylicious Beyonce! Men (who are naturally oversensitive creatures) love it that plus-size women are less judgmental in the sack than are their underweight sisters. Their goal is to make their men as comfortable as they are on the field of play. Our shape can also enhance certain positions that appeal to the voyeur in men of all ages. Need I say more? I think not. Is it a mind thing? Maybe, but then isn’t everything else? Oh, a final word to my male pals: If you’re a closet thick-girl lover, hey, it’s time to come out. Life’s too short
to be denying your heart
(not to mention other sensitive parts!) what secretly they desperately desire. Besides, you’ll have lots of company at the dining table. As for my concerned sisters with over-fifty-inch waist measurements, well, now the truth is out. Go for it, ladies. You’ll be making more than a few in-denial souls, to say nothing of your own, very happy. And that’s always a good thing, right? Whether or not hot sex is involved!
By Jenna Gaston